How to stop being an insecure person
How does being an insecure person affect us?
Insecurity as a personality trait can have devastating consequences for your psychological health.
Little by little, you will notice that your self- esteem fades , while you are afraid of not being able to achieve your goals, you may develop dependency relationships and it is even possible that you may be a victim of psychological abuse.
Your way of being will be covered by the mantle generated by insecurity and you may never develop a full and satisfying life.
You should know that insecurity is not usually an innate characteristic, but that it is acquired due to our learning and development and that turns your day to day life into an arduous path to travel and with which it is not easy to live.
Therefore, you not only can, but you must, eradicate it from your life. It will not be easy to achieve it, since to be successful, you will need to change your behavior until you finally change your way of thinking and interpreting reality.
The good thing about this whole therapeutic process is that, once finished, you will see a person reborn in you free of all insecurity , which will allow you to live life from a perspective that you did not know, which you will love.
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Steps to follow to lose insecurity and gain autonomy
- Don’t care what others think: to be a person free from insecurity, you need to throw off the yoke that implies living according to others. It is not so easy to change your mentality to start living in a different way , but with determination you will achieve it. There are many ways by which you can achieve this goal. One of them is to realize that what others think about you is not really important, and that you are an independent person. When you realize that each person lives for himself, it will be easier for you to take the first steps towards self-confidence and your own independence.
- Do not compare yourself: comparing yourself with others is the perfect recipe to develop a frustration that is very difficult to eradicate. What will help you become a better person and a better professional is not measuring yourself with the same yardstick that you measure others, since each person is different and needs time to assimilate things, to learn and to develop a link. Plus, each one is smart in their own way; while the person you are comparing yourself with may be an excellent artist, it is possible that your intelligence is of the logical-mathematical type, so you will be better in other areas. If you want to progress and be proud of your achievements , set realistic goals for yourself and, of course, make you feel fulfilled.
- Pursue satisfaction, not perfection: aiming for perfection only brings us frustration and unhappiness. Nobody is perfect. It is practically impossible to make things perfect. Therefore, we should aspire to do the best we can on a case-by-case basis and do our best in the process. If at the end of the day, you look back and what you see is a day of effort, dedication, professionalism and ethics, you will begin to have reasons to feel more and more confident of yourself.
What are the characteristics of insecurity?
A person who suffers from insecurity has a tendency to develop the following ideas and behaviors:
- Doubt : doubt is inherent in every human being. It would be strange to walk through life without considering anything. However, when the doubt is more frequent than feeling sure to make a decision, it is that we are facing an insecurity problem.
- Excess confidence in the opinion of others: you are the only owner of your life. Therefore, you should not care what others think about the decisions you are going to make or other matters, such as your appearance, the people you associate with and the activities you choose to spend your free time. .
- Do not accept diversity: people who are insecure about themselves do not accept that each person is different from the others. We are unique, which is logical and totally lucky . The problem is that when you feel insecure about your opinions and your choices, when you compare yourself with others you feel that you are at a disadvantage, since you do things differently. For this reason, you must put aside the opinions of others and concentrate on forging your own, based on the values that have seen you grow and that, later in life, you chose to accompany you on this fascinating path.
Insecurity and cognitive therapy
It is possible to treat insecurity through cognitive therapy and achieve amazing results. Insecurity comes from our self-demands . Through this type of therapy, the patient is taught to develop and improve her social skills; She is trained to reduce or eliminate her excessive personal demands, she is given advice on how to handle herself assertively and she is given tools so that she can solve the problems that arise.
In this way, the person begins to change their opinion of themselves, since they realize that they are much more capable than they had allowed themselves to believe.
The Manuel Escudero Center for Psychology and Psychiatry in Madrid recommends:
An adequate psychological treatment allows insecurity to be successfully overcome through cognitive therapy, whether it is a character insecurity or is associated with some pathology.
The treatment, in case it is a character insecurity , is based on developing healthy self-esteem and detecting those thoughts that are not adjusted to reality that can lead the person to interpret reality in an unobjective and distorted way. It can be complemented, if necessary, by teaching the person to improve their social skills, their assertiveness and their problem-solving skills.
In the event that insecurity is associated with some pathology, such as social phobia or avoidant disorder, these problems will have to be treated. Insecurity will improve as the primary pathology improves.