Feeling of loneliness: what causes it and how to overcome it

As social beings that we are, we need to establish relationships of various kinds around us. In this way, we will maintain psychological health .

However, the feeling of loneliness does not necessarily respond to the fact of not having company , but can be generated even when we live with our family or as a couple .

Let’s explore the factors behind the feeling of loneliness and see how we can overcome it.

What are the types of loneliness? physical loneliness vs. emotional loneliness

Physical loneliness means being alone. Either because we have decided to withdraw from the world or because circumstances have led us to it, our social contact has been reduced to a minimum.

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In such a case, we may or may not experience the feeling of loneliness. If we have chosen this lifestyle, we may feel a gratifying fulfillment from enjoying our own company. On the other hand, if this loneliness has occurred due to circumstances beyond our control, we can suffer from emotional loneliness or emotional isolation .

Emotional loneliness is a state that generates anguish and that can arise when we are alone or accompanied, but whose origin lies in other factors that are not linked to the people around us or their absence, but to the following feelings:

• Misunderstanding: It is generated when we feel that our opinions are mocked or when those who should listen to them simply dismiss them and label us for thinking in a certain way.
• Lack of sharing quality moments: spending time with someone does not necessarily mean having a good time. We live in times in which friendships are on a screen, and this began to happen long before the security measures were installed as a result of the pandemic, and in which triviality has monopolized our conversations. It is possible that, even after spending an afternoon with your friends, you feel empty inside and the feeling of loneliness takes over you.
• Sadness: seeing ourselves relegated to misunderstanding leads us to feel helpless and abandoned, which causes sadness and emotional isolation to arrive and settle.
• Lack of intimacy: this cause of a feeling of loneliness usually occurs in couples who have lost communication and, therefore, intimacy has been replaced by the fact that each one makes his life. The conversations are no longer in common, but of each of its members with their respective mobiles.
• Insecurity : the lack of support and understanding are two strong triggers of the feeling of insecurity. Suddenly we feel that we are alone and we don’t know when we will be protected again.
• Lack of social contacts: If you need to have friends and be part of a social circle, it is very likely that not being able to do so will generate distress for you.
• Fear of abandonment: there are times when the feeling of loneliness does not respond to a lack of the present, but to a fear that, due to abandonment, the future will be bleak. This fear usually has its origin in childhood and, if we cannot get rid of it, it will be necessary for us to go to a professional to carry out a treatment that allows us to feel free and hopeful about the future.

How does emotional loneliness affect?

Feeling alone is just as detrimental to our mental health as it is to our physical health.

The anxiety and anguish that are generated as a result of feeling isolated and relegated from the life rich in social and family contacts that we would like to have, affects our immune system .

Therefore, we become prone to contracting diseases or developing those that are latent in our body due to genetics.

As for the psychological damage to which people who feel emotional loneliness are exposed, they are:

• loss of self esteem
• increased anxiety
• The Depression

Feeling alone leads us to believe that we do not deserve the company, understanding and attention of others.

When this concept develops, it becomes a time bomb that, sooner or later, is very likely to lead to:

• in loving ourselves less,
• in developing anxiety and
• in generating depression.

How to overcome the feeling of loneliness

Reclaim loneliness – the most effective way to overcome it

Life takes many turns and takes us through different places, both geographical and emotional, throughout our existence.

A habit that we must change as soon as possible is to complain and feel sorry for ourselves when we have to be in places that we do not like.

In the case of loneliness, we have something very significant in our favor: loneliness is neither good nor bad in itself , but it generates positive or negative feelings in us depending on how we approach it.

If you are lonely and an overwhelming feeling has taken over you, change the way you see your disconnection with the world.

You are a valid person, but perhaps you have not allowed yourself enough time to discover your abilities and skills.

Unearth the potential that has been dormant for years and learn something new, create things in which you can express your creativity and focus on starting, developing and strengthening the relationships that really satisfy you.