How to make important decisions

We are standing in front of the jam aisle and we choose the peaches instead of the plums; we enter a store and ask to try on the brown shoes, not the black ones, of a certain model; we open the refrigerator and decide to prepare an omelette instead of a stew… all this is part of the universe of the decisions we make every day to go through life.

However, there comes a day when we must make an important decision , one of those that could change the course of our lives. In these cases, we need to stick to a guide, a kind of manual, that we can offer you from psychology to help you clear your mind and act with wisdom and common sense .

Why is it difficult to make important decisions?

Important decision-making is shrouded in a rarefied halo because it involves choosing between two opposing worlds : the emotional and the rational.

On the one hand, we have the emotional charge of what we can choose, which is something we want, that makes us feel good and makes us happy. However, the reason appears to argue against what gives us so much fullness. The voice of conscience is not easy to silence, but speaks endlessly to convince us that we are about to make a wrong decision.

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This is how the feelings-reason dichotomy is produced to make the decision difficult to make.

In the middle of these two forces that pull to opposite sides, we find ourselves, who try to do good, but who also want to satisfy our emotional area .

What happens is that in every decision, there is something that is lost. One of the options, the one not chosen, will disappear from our existence and we can do nothing to recover it. It is precisely from this notion of loss that the fear of deciding arises .

Is there a solution for that?

Yes, of course there is. Next, we will give you the steps to follow when you need to make a decision that can change the way you live your life.

Tips for making good important decisions wisely

• Evaluate the issue: address the problem or situation about which you must make a decision, thoroughly. Analyze it in its entirety and, before moving forward, make sure you have explored each of its hidden corners. Allow yourself to think about it and examine it for a few days. If you have not discovered anything new in that time, it is that there is something that you are not being able, or perhaps you are not wanting, to see.
• Examine your objective: the first thing to take into account before taking any step towards the resolution of the matter at hand, is to evaluate the objectives towards which you are heading. When you have to make an important decision, it is because there is something that you give a lot of value to that is at stake. You can win a lot, but you also have the possibility of losing too much if something goes wrong. Therefore, determine precisely where you want to go and what you need to get out of this process. This will help you refine your criteria to make the best decision .
• List the alternatives: make a list with all the possible paths to take.
• Analyze the alternatives one by one: now that you have them in a written list, it is time to analyze them one by one. Make a list of previous questions, and if possible, write down each answer, which will allow you to have a very clear picture of what could happen through each of them. For example: What result would you get? What would I lose? What would win? Who would it harm? Who would benefit? What resources would you need?
• Ask experts for advice: it is not about letting yourself be influenced by the opinions of others, but the advice is like extra eyes that help us see the details, or even the situation from a much broader perspective, which will allow us to have more information and knowledge about the subject. For example, if we are thinking of buying a house for the summer and we cannot decide between a much more expensive one, but with a swimming pool, and another more expensive one, but without it and with a small garden, a real estate expert can advise us about the advantages and disadvantages of each of them.
• Ask your close friends for advice: you already have the expert’s objective opinion, now is the time to receive advice with a little more “heart” and feelings. Having both versions will help us find a middle ground.
• Take a couple of days to evaluate all the information received: ultimately, we are the protagonists of the decision and its results. So now we have to break down all the information that they have given us, to apply our criteria. Only we can know how the different possible outcomes will impact us. Perhaps what we have to lose does not impact us as devastatingly as an outsider might believe, or perhaps it is exactly the other way around.
• Take a test: If you have the possibility to take a test to see how you would fare if you make the decision you are thinking about, it would be a great advantage in your favor. For example, if you are thinking of moving to another city, it would be a very good idea to spend a few days in that place and try to see it through the eyes of its inhabitants instead of evaluating it as a tourist.
• Make the decision: the time has come; It is time to take the big step and opt for the option that we believe is the right one.

How do I know if I’ve made the right decision?

The answer to this question is very simple: there are no right or wrong decisions per se . What is good for you can be fatal for someone else, and vice versa. Therefore, we cannot ask ourselves about whether the decision was correct or not, but rather we must address the issue from our perspective: Was it the best decision according to the objectives it pursued?

The results will not be seen immediately. Once you make a decision, you begin to walk a new path. As time passes, you will realize if what you have decided was the right thing or not. If you perceive that you are getting closer to your goals every day, you will have made the right decision . On the other hand, if your goals are more distant than before, it is possible that you have not been successful.

However, life is a come and go; There are no winners or losers per se, but rather there are situations in which we win and others in which we lose. The important thing is to manage to extract the learning from every mistake.

If this time you have made the wrong decision, take the time to identify where the fault has been. Did the emotional take precedence over the rational, even though you knew beforehand that that would be a mistake? Did your decision lack heart? Did you really evaluate all your possibilities? Did you allow yourself to be influenced too much by others?

When mistakes serve to refine our way of acting in the future, they are totally welcome.

The orientation consultation at the Manuel Escudero Center

Making an important decision can be very difficult and sometimes requires another opinion.

The orientation consultation is aimed at people who wish to have a professional orientation when having to make one or more decisions , or to be guided on a specific situation or issue.

The specialist’s response will be advisory, providing technical knowledge and experience, or it can be therapeutic, depending on the situation that arises.

During an orientation consultation, emotions, moods or common or deeper situations can be expressed (on family, work, social or personal issues).

The objective of this type of consultation is to help the person organize their ideas and feelings about the situation, and approach the most appropriate solution, dedicating all the necessary time that the situation requires.