Difficulty in finding or maintaining a partner

What can I do to find a partner?

Difficulty finding or keeping a partner can cause us internal conflicts. And it is that by nature we need a person with whom to develop affective and loving ties, and in many cases, to form a family.

From childhood, society tells us that the ideal state of the adult person is to partner with the love of their life , a being that will complement us. Then from the beginning of adulthood, the social environment pressures us to find a partner , so as not to socially disengage. And after 30 years of age, those who do not have a stable partner are often viewed with suspicion by their family and close friends.

Not all couple relationships are based on affection, on the contrary, the interest and convenience of one or both parties is a common reason for pairing.

For example, some people base their relationship on economic convenience, others simply on the fear of facing adulthood alone. The truth is that for whatever reason, many people tend to pair up and maintain a stable relationship .

Given the above scenario, it is logical that in those who have difficulty finding or keeping a partner, feelings of guilt and insecurity arise . When something so simple for the rest of his peers is so difficult for an individual, it is normal for the latter to think that there is something wrong with him. And if that thought is misdirected, it can lead to a pernicious loss of self-esteem.

It is important that in the face of recurrent difficulty in pairing or maintaining a stable relationship, a specialist in psychology is consulted . With his professional help, you will be able to find the origin of the problem, and establish the mechanisms to solve said condition.

How can therapy help overcome difficulty finding or maintaining a partner?

Here are some ways that therapy helps those who are having trouble finding or keeping a relationship . These are indicated without the intention of generalizing, since each person has their own mental structure and self-image, which must be analyzed by the professional in charge of the therapy.

1.- Helps to overcome shyness

Introverted people maintain few social ties, something that greatly decreases the probability of finding a partner. On the other hand, shyness represents an obstacle when establishing stable bonds, especially as their family or friends become more sociable.

In these cases , [therapies for shyness focus on developing adequate social skills, at a pace that is not suffocating for the affected person. The psychologist is responsible for developing a suitable therapy for each person, developing step by step the social trust that the treated individual requires.

2.- Increases self-esteem

As previously noted, relationship problems often lead to loss of self-esteem. And this in turn causes insecure behavior and fear of interacting with others, then causing social behavior disorders.

In this case , the therapy is based on rescuing the self-image of the individual , highlighting the positive side of his [personality . With various therapeutic techniques, self-esteem is rescued, until it is strengthened enough to successfully undertake social and loving bonding.

3.- Reduces the fear of failure

Pairing difficulty due to fear of failure is common in people who have previously had troubled relationships. For example, it is common for many people who have had complex and painful divorces to be afraid of dating again and repeating that experience.

The fear of failure is treated in therapy, rescuing the positive and optimistic view of living together as a couple . Also making the affected understand that each relationship is different, and that a failure in a previous relationship does not imply that it will be repeated in a future one.

4.- Have the commitment

Coexistence as a couple requires each member to maintain a firm commitment to the other, which implies modifying some aspects of daily life. For this reason, people who consciously or unconsciously fear commitment often sabotage their relationships as a couple.

In this case , therapy helps to mature the individual , preparing him to acquire the level of commitment that a stable relationship requires. The affected person is taught negotiation techniques for relationships as a couple , which allows them to face the commitment without totally losing their individual freedom.

In summary, with the advice of a specialist in psychology, it is possible to overcome the various causes that cause the difficulty in finding or maintaining a partner. Therefore, it is important to go to the psychologist when this difficulty becomes chronic .

However, if you have problems finding a stable partner or if the relationship is not satisfactory, it is recommended that you consult a psychologist who helps you develop social skills and interpersonal relationships.