Sometimes some part of us is our "inner critic" that gives us doubts and fears. Sometimes we let them control us. But fears can be overcome.
Have you ever heard that inner voice that whispers, "You're not good enough. You did not come. Not worth trying"? But we are not doomed to remain a prisoner of these fears, on the contrary, can overcome them. Here we will discuss how to overcome fear and live life that we really want to live.
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FEAR HAS A PURPOSEFear is trying to help us stay safe. But sometimes we don't need protection and we just overestimate the risk and underestimate our own strength.
Anxiety grows when we focus on the negative. Constantly thinking of the worst case scenario, we are fueled by your fear. Sometimes It gives us to realize our full potential, not allowing us to take risks and to do what we would like, keeps at a job that does not suit us, or in relationships that do not satisfy us. Fear tries to protect us from the shame, ridicule, loneliness.
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?Most of the most common fears are:
— Fear of failure
— Fear of change
— The fear of experiencing painful feelings
— Fear of being abandoned or rejected
HOW TO OVERCOME FEAROvercoming fear is a process that begins with awareness and requires a willingness to change your thinking and behavior. Here are 9 tips that will help you:
1. It is important to note, when you begin to lead by fear. Awareness is the most important part of any changes.
2. Think about what fear is stopping you. What motivates you to overcome it? How your life will become better if you finally become able to manage it?
3. What beliefs underlie your fears? For example, if you think that leaving a bad job or ending a bad marriage will mean that you are a loser, you will face this situation even after they will finally understand that nothing good comes out. If your fear of abandonment comes from the internal belief of inferiority, and perhaps you will again and again develop relationships with people who treat you poorly, just not to be alone. Working with a therapist may help to clarify the root causes of your fears.
May the worst have already happened, and that's the cause of the alarm
4. Try to avoid black and white thinking. Life is too complex to describe people categories such as "successful" or "loser," "smart or stupid". It is better not to accept such labels.
5. Don't think about the end result. It does not define who you are. If you are afraid that the result will not be such as we would be afraid to even try. But often the result does not depend only on us. You can keep to a strict diet and all the instructions, but it does not guarantee that you will lose 5 kg (the result you expect). So better focus on what you can control— your actions and thoughts.
6. Perhaps the worst has already happened, and that's the cause of the alarm. I had a client, a teenager who refused to go to College, which in itself is not a disaster, but I was surprised, because he had very good grades. He understood that he was afraid of being rejected and that his fear is not to go to College is illogical, given his progress. Digging into his past, we found out that his father, whom he no longer maintained a relationship, often shaming him, saying something like: "You're a fool. Why are you trying to achieve something? Your grandfather did not achieve anything like your father.Why did you decide that you're something better?" This young man has done the worst — he was rejected by the father, and he continued to live in fear of it getting again rejected.
7. Rate the reality of their fears. How likely is the outcome that scares you? We generally tend to overestimate the likelihood of possible troubles and misfortunes, and continually "scroll" them in the head, instead of a sober look at things.
Don't think about the end result. Often it does not depends only on you.
8. Maybe you are a more persistent person than you think? Even if you fulfilled your worst fears, you may still be able to cope and survive the incident? Remember, how much difficult and painful situations you have had to endure in life.
9. For reducing anxiety try relaxation techniques, for example the exercise "earthing" (see below). If you were diagnosed with one anxiety disorder or you suspect that you may suffer from such disorder, it is important to seek professional help — a psychologist or psychiatrist. Fear serves a purpose. It should not be ignored, it is important to analyse it to understand how it is justified. If it's unreasonable, than start gradually to overcome it. Step by step you will be able to discover new opportunities.
The exercise "earthing" for reducing anxiety:
1. Rate your level of anxiety on a scale from 1 to 10.
2. Sit on a chair or sofa. Keep your back straight, put feet on the floor. Relax your shoulders.
3. Breathe slowly and deeply.
4. How many Windows in the room?
5. How many electrical outlets do you see?
6. How do you feel the chair or sofa on which you sit? It is soft? Hard?
7. What color are your pants? Shoes?
8. What do you hear?
9. What material is the floor made? It is smooth or not? Soft or hard? Clean or dirty? If you can see it has some defects, shortcomings?
10. List your favorite shows or series.
11. Name all geometric shapes which you can recall.
12. Rate your level of anxiety on a scale from 1 to 10.
If it's still above 5, repeat the exercise.
9 Steps To Overcome Fear To Live Life That You Really Want
4/ 5Oleh Subhash Mod