7 Signs You're Still Not Over Your Ex

Sincerity why?, you may be wondering. The explanation is very simple: because we humans are experts in the art of self-deception , and during the breakup that tendency to self-deception increases so much that sometimes we do not know who is speaking, whether it is our little heart or our ability to reason.

And how do we deceive ourselves? Convincing ourselves that everything is over, that we no longer feel absolutely nothing for an ex, that it doesn’t hurt to see him with another person, that it doesn’t bother us that they talk to us about him and that we have forgiven him for all his shit, because, Let’s face it, sometimes it’s not like that. The problem is that it is very difficult to recognize that there are still feelings and not just love . It can also be resentment or disappointment that you do not know how to manage, or even irrational expectations that you can be friends one day. But how do you know if this is your case? Listening for signs that there is still an unhealed wound.

1. Stalking him is your new hobby

Reviewing all your public social networks has become another step in your routine . At night, you go to bed, open Instagram and look for his profile to see if he has published a new photo or story – a story that you manage to see without being too loud. Also his Twitter, his Facebook and if you push me, his LinkedIn profile. I know that in the short term it reassures you to know what is happening in his life, but stalking him obsessively is not going to allow you to move forward .

2. You go from idealization to demonization

For you, your ex is not a normal person. Sometimes it is the best thing that has happened to you in your life , someone incredible, the train you missed, a gift for the person who ends up next to him, and suddenly… Go down to hell . Something changes and he is no longer the man or woman of your life. It’s the one who hurt you, who doesn’t deserve you, who has done you a favor by cutting.

Getting over an ex means bringing those two extremes together . It is neither the ideal person nor the worst thing that has happened to you and will happen to you in life. He is simply a person who was part of your story and who has now taken another path.

3. You interrogate mutual friends

If every time you see a mutual friend you manage to ask every little detail of your ex’s life, maybe you’re not completely over it. I know you want to know if he is okay, if he has met someone or if he is having a bad time, but you put that friend in a bind and, besides, the information will not always reassure you . What happens if they tell you that he has a new partner? Are you ready to know that he has surpassed you? And what are you going to do if they tell you that he’s terrible, that he misses you and that he wants to come back? Do you really want to resume the relationship?

4. You pay your grudge with your new partner

You have found out that he has been knowing someone for several weeks, perhaps you have even seen them together on a terrace, at the cinema or walking. Do you assume that he has remade his life? Nope! You convince yourself that this new person is the worst of the worst, even if you don’t know them at all . She ugly, ridiculous, selfish and all the negative attributes of the dictionary become the definition of her new date or partner, and that is quite unfair.

5. You pressure him to be friends

If your ex wants to maintain a friendship and both of you are ready for it, great, but if not, stop pressuring him because you are going to hurt each other a lot. After a breakup we need to heal our wounds separately by letting our friends or family take care of us, not an ex. Allow him to heal and allow yourself to heal too.

6. You feel the urgent need to give birth

It is one thing to talk to your best friends about the lights and shadows of the relationship and another to take advantage of any opportunity to criticize your ex, sometimes sharing very intimate details or directly making things up or distorting reality.

7. You still have unanswered questions

Getting over an ex is not just stopping being in love or in love. It also involves closing all open wounds, even when she no longer feels love. That is impossible if you have unanswered questions , which is not the same as if you do have an answer, but it does not work for you.

The perfect example is found in the reason for the breakup . You asked him, did your ex answer you? If the answer is no, that uncertainty can prevent you from moving forward. If the answer is yes, the road forks in two: Is the answer he gave you worth it? If the answer is yes, then you are ready to move on. If the answer is no, you have to assume that maybe there are no other hidden reasons, that what he told you is true even if it hurts.