4 Things that Kill Relationships
John Gottman, a relationship expert with 40 years of experience, says he can listen to a partner for 5 minutes and determine with 91% accuracy if they are going to separate.
The erudite therapist, who has investigated marriage for 4 decades, wrote a book called "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work", where it clarifies several myths of romance and why some couples take away so bad and others so well, says the American magazine Time.
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According to the specialist, there are 4 fundamental things that kill most relationships. Pay attention.
1. Criticism
Complaining is fine, but when criticism attacks the person and not their behavior, things start to go wrong. If a person forgets to do something that their partner asked for, it does not mean that they are a bad person or that they do not care about the other person. It is not the same to do something silly as to be silly. It is necessary to always point to the behavior that was bad not to the person.Long Distance Relationship In Military
2. Contempt
This category includes insults, gestures of contempt, mockery and hostile humor. In any of its forms, contempt is the worst of the four points, since it is poisonous for a relationship to convey disgust. "It is virtually impossible to solve a problem when your partner is receiving the message that you are enraged with him or her," he explained.What Is The Best Couple For Leo - Know It Here
3. The defensive attitude.
"The defensive attitude is really a way to blame your partner. The defensive attitude only intensifies the conflict, which is why it is so deadly, "says the expert.10 Romantic Long Distance Love Messages For Boyfriend
4. Obstructionism.
The obstructionist attitude means cutting off communication with the other and not giving any credit to what the other says. This closed attitude not only shows disconnection, but it implies annulling the person from the relationship.In this sense, Gottman says that it is not differences of opinion that destroy relationships, but how the couple confronts them. In this sense, he points out that 69% of the couple's problems are perpetual, that is, they do not disappear and many continue to argue about the same for years.
"The majority of marital discussions can not be resolved. Couples spend year after year trying to change the other's opinion, but they can not. This happens because most of the disagreements have their origin in the fundamental differences of their lifestyle, personality, or values, "says the expert, adding that the only thing that is achieved with this is to waste time and damage the relationship.