The writer Roy Galán, through his phrases and texts, invites us to reflect on what healthy, respectful and undemanding love is like.
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| Short phrases of love to share |
Love is a universal and transcendental theme on which transcendental figures from culture, philosophy, science and politics have reflected for centuries .
The writer Roy Galán, through his phrases and texts, makes us reflect on the limits of love, respect in love, the freedom to be loved and to love. And also about heartbreak, since, as Roy well says in this audiopodcast: “If something defines a relationship, it’s not how it starts but how it ends.”
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SHORT PHRASES OF LOVE TO THINK ABOUT
Roy Galán’s precious phrases and texts are authentic pearls of wisdom ideal to share with our loved ones.
“WHEN YOU REALLY LOVE SOMEONE, ALL YOU WANT IS FOR THEM TO BE HAPPY”
If you don’t remember our anniversary, I’ll leave you.
If you get fat, I’ll leave you.
If you smoke, I’ll leave you.
If you keep going out, I’ll leave you.
If you look at another person, I leave you.
If it’s you, she left you.
Because people are not interested in respecting the loved one.
Deeply for what it is.
All people want is to love an idea.
And that the loved person adapts to that idea.
The problem is that this idea is normally imposed from outside.
It is established from a very specific system.
A system that is a single thought established as normal.
A heteronormative and patriarchal system that establishes that love is possession.
That happiness is achieved through the couple.
That wanting is to demonstrate some very specific things.
That people are ours.
That jealousy is worry.
That worry is love.
That love is control.
Control what we love.
Transform it into what we need.
That’s not love.
Because when you really want.
When you really know another person.
All you want is for it to be her.
Let it be her without you, too.
When you really love someone, all you want is for them to be happy.
And you can only be happy when you show what you feel.
When they respect you
And when you feel that nobody is blackmailing you.
threatens you
With leaving you
for what you are
“IN LOVE SOMETIMES THE BEST THING IS TO LET GO”
Sometimes wanting is not enough.
Because you want and sometimes it is not possible.
Because you’re not in the same mental place.
Because you want something and the other person the opposite.
Because life offers you things.
And sometimes those things push you away.
Love is not enough.
nor save.
Love in addition to feeling it must be built.
It requires a lot of patience and time.
It requires people to live at the same time.
That one is not hooked to the past like a plastic bag to the branches of a tree.
That the other is not projected into the future like a rocket in search of life on another planet.
It requires will and presence.
Sometimes you want a lot and you see that I can’t be.
And it hurts.
Because it does not work.
And you try, you really do.
But nothing.
Sometimes it’s best to let go.
It is assuming the impossibility.
It is to accept calmly and affectionately.
I love you, but we are not made to accompany each other.
Thank you for the time shared.
The one in which you grew up and received affection.
And continue on our way.
“THE FREEDOM OF THE OTHER IS THE GREATEST DEMONSTRATION OF LOVE POSSIBLE”
Sacrifice is the opposite of love.
Because sacrifice implies killing a feeling that is still alive .
Something that could have made us flourish , that could still have amazed and enriched us.
But we root it out so it never ever shows up.
That amputation of the self in favor of the other.
That annulment of desires.
That castration of desires.
It has nothing to do with really loving someone.
It has more to do with pleasing.
With the fact that they adore you and continue to adore you.
So that it is impossible to leave you with everything you have done for the other person.
To build yourself a bunker of kindness where it’s impossible for anyone to blame you for anything.
In which to be able to recriminate when the other is not up to it.
In which you always remain as the person who was right because she was good.
Because you moved, quit, or quit.
But you had another choice.
You always choose.
You could have said no.
Love often has to do with saying no.
With taking care of what you have been and not losing yourself in the other.
With keeping enough distance to know who you were before and especially who you want to be after.
And this does not mean that in relationships you do not have to give in sometimes.
Of course love requires consensus.
But reaching that consensus requires honesty.
Verbalize what is yours and what others cannot enter.
That which does not concern anyone.
And that deserves to be respected.
That’s why when you let someone sacrifice themselves for you.
When you let him give up what he loves for you.
When you prefer him by your side than performing.
When you try to modify their behaviors to fit yours.
When you change irretrievably.
And all this in the name of love.
Perhaps you are not loving that person well.
Because you allow him to stop being the person he is because of you.
And when you do that, you don’t care in the least about the other person.
All human beings are born knowing absolutely nothing about life.
We learn everything.
And we can also unlearn it.
We can begin to question our way of relating.
To deconstruct the idea of love that we have been sold as unique.
To analyze how many of the things that harm us and make us suffer are taught.
How many are false myths that are erected as absolute truths.
We can begin to dismiss sacrifice as a symptom of great love.
We can start to stop saying that: look how much he loves me because he has sacrificed everything for me.
We can begin to believe that the freedom of the other is the greatest demonstration of love possible.
I want you to always be with me.
More you than ever.
And thus be able to say: look how much he loves me that he loves me as I am.
He wants me free.
Even.
To leave.
“THEY TEACH US THAT LOVE IS THE ONLY THING POSSIBLE. BUT THERE ARE AS MANY LOVES AS THERE ARE BODIES IN THE WORLD”
They teach us that love is only one possible thing.
That they have to feel butterflies in the stomach.
That there is a better half for you waiting for you there.
That if he is jealous it is that he loves you very much.
That love can do everything and saves us.
That the only possibility is monogamy.
That what respect is is something that is dictated from the outside and not agreed upon as a couple.
That love is forever and if it goes wrong it is because there is something wrong with you.
That if you can’t hold on, sacrifice yourself or bet everything on someone, then it’s a failure.
That romantic love is the most important thing in life.
And not.
They fill our heads with all these ideals.
With all these things that only exist in fiction.
That they are impossible and harmful and generate violence.
They make us feel that we have to be searching and trying to fit into the last of a shoe created for another person that does not exist.
They tell us a lie so that we make it true.
But there are as many loves as there are bodies in the world.
As many ways of loving and loving each other as two or more people want.
So many pacts and ways that it is impossible to classify them.
Because love is letting the other be with you.
Love is, above all, freedom to grow.
Love is care.
Because without care, love becomes an end and not an instrument.
And love is a means.
To be something better.
In company.
“MAYBE LOVE IS NOT A QUESTION AND IS JUST AN ANSWER TO WHAT WE ARE DOING HERE”
No one can describe love .
Poets and chemists, they try.
But they are just theories.
Because there is nothing empirical in love.
There is no science.
Love is just as mysterious as the origin.
Or that the end
Maybe love is not a question and just an answer to what we do here.
Well love.
Loving (well) is always a choice.
One that consists of choosing to make life easier for the other.
One that has to do with wanting the other to grow.
Growing up too
Because if love does not give the freedom to be. It is not love. It is something very different camouflaged as love.
We can build airplanes.
Talk to people who are on the other side of the world.
Make robots.
Learn about the subject.
But no one can define love.
Because you feel love.
You carry it.
Because love is made, always.
And when he talks about him to try to get closer to you.
Love.
Like the horizon.
It disappears.
“WE HAVE TO START TAKING CHARGE OF OUR SELF-ESTEEM BEFORE WE GET INVOLVED WITH ANYONE.”
Sometimes we love people just because they love us.
Because they have chosen us out of all people.
Because they have noticed us or us.
Because it’s “lucky” that that happened.
With how little we are worth.
With how horrible we feel.
With our rubble bodies.
Sometimes it seems that instead of wanting to give thanks.
Because we think we don’t deserve anything.
And we conceive any gesture of affection or affection as an immense achievement.
Because we think we are shit.
Sometimes we accept the first thing that comes our way.
Without evaluating if we also like it.
If it also moves us.
Just because the other person shows interest.
We get into relationships just because we feel flattered and flattered.
Conditioned by that terrible thing that is proper love.
I owe you something because without you I would be alone.
For that horrible thing that is to feel that someone fucks you for charity.
Hugs you for charity.
She kisses you for charity.
But there is no balance there.
There is no equality in the relationship.
Just a slavery to the other’s will.
We have to start taking charge of our self-love before we get involved with anyone.
Start loving from that dissidence.
What does it mean to love yourself first ?
To love the other.
And let yourself be loved.
“YOU DESERVE TO BE TAKEN CARE OF. BECAUSE THAT HAS TO BE THE MINIMUM OF LOVE.”
You deserve to be treated well.
Don’t let them yell at you, or use you, or put you aside when they no longer need you.
You deserve to be loved by the person you are.
Don’t try to change you.
Don’t be blackmailed.
You deserve that the person you are with loves your body.
That they do not make you psychological terrorism so that you get disgusted.
Let them run all over your skin.
You deserve good love.
May it help you grow and be free.
That accompanies you and respects you.
You deserve everything that is not in the movies or in the textbooks.
What is not said but is done.
Away from words that only serve to give ears and flowers to ask for forgiveness.
You deserve to be.
Because you are
You deserve to receive.
Because you give.
You deserve much more joy.
Because you do your part.
You deserve to be taken care of.
Because that has to be the minimum of love.
You deserve something nice.
Last two days or twenty years.
You deserve to be seen beyond what is seen.
So don’t settle for leftovers.
And she claims.
Everything that belongs to you.
For loving.
“LOVE IS NOT FOUGHT. LOVE IS BORN.”
Love is not fought.
love is born
It springs from the bodies like a waterfall or a vine on an old wall.
Love is not “without you I am nothing”.
Love is I am with you and without you, but with you look how good.
With you life is better.
With you life weighs less.
Love is that you put the freedom of the other.
May you be excited to see how it grows, how it relates, how it expands, how it learns by your side and when it’s not by your side.
Love is creating a home anywhere.
It is a body to return to.
It is the certainty of ending us, yes.
But in company
Love is rejoicing for the other.
Of your choices.
Even if you are not in those elections.
Because love is above all respect.
It is admiration and affection.
Love is our ability to deny ourselves barbarism.
It is our choice not to hate.
It’s a superpower.
One that each and every human being has.
And that allows us to nest.
in other bodies.
And in other worlds.
“ACCEPTING WHAT THE OTHER IS – EVEN IF IT IS NOT WHAT WE EXPECTED – IS ALSO A WAY OF WANTING.”
The expectation of others is impossible.
Because we never know how the other person is really going to act .
We know, yes, how we would like it to be done.
To come out winning.
Or how we would do it in his place.
Thus injecting our own morality into the skin of the acts of others.
But never how she will.
And when that person does it the way she feels: we get disappointed.
We get terribly frustrated because the other has been moved in that mental photo that we wanted to take of him.
Because that moves our feet off the ground since we don’t have everything under control.
The expectation is an extension of the self into the future.
To see if we can predict anything.
But we can’t do it.
Because everything changes.
To expect something from someone is to lock them in a cage.
It is to vacuum pack it and put a label on it and put it in a freezer.
It is not contemplating the very richness of life.
Not having expectations of anyone sets us free and sets others free.
Just like assuming that we are not all the same.
That there are as many possibilities as bodies.
As many shades as brains.
Because accepting what the other is even if it is not what we expected is also a way of wanting.
Because letting the other do what he wants and not what you expect is a deep form of respect.
Respect.
So that the only person you pretend something about is always.
About yourself.
“LOVE IS GIVING THE OTHER THE POSSIBILITY OF BEING THE PERSON THEY ARE AND NOT WHAT THE REST EXPECT THEM TO BE.”
It doesn’t matter if you’ve always done the right thing.
That you have always done what others wanted.
That you have always thought of others and not of yourself.
That always and each and every time you were there.
If you are not one
They don’t forgive you.
They don’t let you fail.
They don’t let you be wrong
That you just want to be alone.
That you miss the birthday or the wedding because you can’t take it anymore.
That you are not nice and available.
Don’t pick up the phone because you don’t feel like it.
They can’t stand it.
That you are not there for them.
They don’t give you a break.
But deep down they don’t like you well.
Because if you want well, you want the person to do what makes them happy.
Although in that happiness is not to see you.
Because if you love someone, you want her free and not forced.
Because love is giving the other the possibility that he be the person he is and not what the rest expect him to be.
But they only want you to vomit their misfortunes on you.
They love you like a cube.
They love you so they don’t feel alone.
They love you out of pure and hard selfishness.
But that’s over.
If doing what you want makes people disappear.
Bye.
And if you keep two, those two will be real.
And if you’re left with no one.
Well, who wants someone who doesn’t respect you for company?
But it’s time to let go.
toxic attachments.
It’s time for you. For you.
“IN LOVE SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LET GO LIKE THE ONE WHO LOOSENS THE ROPE THAT TIES THE BOAT IN WHAT GOES WHAT YOU WANT MOST.”
Let go.
Overcome attachment.
Face fears.
Letting go like the one that loosens the rope that ties the boat in what goes what you want most.
But on dry land you die.
Let go and feel sorry, yes.
Because the penalty is inevitable.
But not suffer.
Because suffering is a choice.
Let go and feel joy for the one who leaves.
Because it’s what you want to do.
And you want people doing what they want to do.
Let go and feel the hole, the void, the cold, the loneliness, the nest, the infinite time.
Having to get used to nothing around you the same way.
To have everything a little over for a while.
Let go and understand that you have missed.
That you have failed
that you betrayed yourself
That you gave yourself and you forgot about yourself. That you don’t know who you are.
Let go and be born again.
Grow back.
To relearn things like a girl.
What does the sea see?
For the first time.
“TO LOVE IS TO GIVE YOURSELF ENOUGH COURAGE TO SAY NO AND THAT, DESPITE SETTING A LIMIT, THEY CONTINUE TO LOVE YOU”
Most of the time you fall in love with the genuine of the other.
From that inner child that continues to live in him.
But that he himself does not see.
But you do, you see everything and want to wake him up.
You want to give him enthusiasm, desire to live, that he recovers that essence.
You want to save him.
But love is not saving the other.
In love there must be balance.
You cannot give and give and give without receiving but crumbs.
And then he tells you his problems.
You listen because nothing else but listening you do very well.
It’s good that you listen to me, he says.
And you fall in love more because you feel useful.
You then understand all his traumas, from his mother not loving him to his ex being rude or that he would love to paint.
And at this point in the movie you have already become a cheerleader.
You are the vital cheerleader of your partner who lives without living in it.
You tell him to go to Rome to study fine arts and you buy him the ticket and you blow him up, you can, you can, you can.
And in the end he leaves and you get angry because deep down what you wanted is for him to stay.
To show you that you are more important because deep down you think you are special and in your arrogance all you wanted is for him to thank you for everything but to do nothing.
And in the end he goes and meets an Italian and leaves you because you know the distance and the Italian swallows the traumas again and encourages him to set up his own gallery and replaces you with a newer, more enthusiastic and also more innocent one.
You remain empty because you have not saved anything for yourself.
Because they told you that love was that.
It was giving everything, it was delivery, it was sacrifice.
But loving is not that.