Love And Obsession: How Are They Different? #Love #Obsession
Distinguishing love from obsession is essential to strengthen emotional intelligence, establish healthy relationships and promote well-being. Next, we show you the differences.
LOVE AND OBSESSION
Not knowing how to recognize the differences between love and obsession can harm relationships, as well as one’s own emotional health. The truth is that it is difficult to differentiate love from obsession. Even the belief that love has the manic characteristics of obsession is very common .
In this article, we will show you the main differences between both notions, which will help you recognize them more precisely.
Obsession does not mean love
The first thing to keep in mind is that love and obsession are two absolutely different states. Although obsession may seem like the exaggeration of love, in reality it is not.
Obsession does not imply loving someone, but rather feeling that without the other person we cannot live . Psychologist Dorothy Tennov states that obsessive behavior lies in:
- Desire, above all, the well-being of the desired person.
- Changing one’s agenda to match hers, taking on stalker -like behavior .
- Focus only on the admirable aspects and ignore its negative characteristics.
- Falsify your own attitude to force a personality according to your tastes.
- Feel a kind of relief when thinking, speaking, observing or feeling the presence of the desired person.
Tennov describes a series of physical effects in the obsession, such as: accelerated palpitations, tremors, inconstant sweating or eating disorders .
In obsession it is understood that each member of the couple is the property of the other.
Main differences between love and obsession
It is essential to know how to distinguish these two phenomena, otherwise, we can easily fall into toxic relationships and get emotional discomfort. Please read the following features carefully.
conception of the couple
When we feel love for someone we see it as our complement. Instead, by obsessing, we feel that someone is constantly missing. We have a feeling of emptiness when he is absent.
In the obsession, we feel that we cannot live without him or her, that we need him or her; while in love, our happiness and fulfillment do not depend on the other person.
Possession
Another difference between love and obsession is possession. The obsessed person believes that her partner belongs to him, so he will exercise constant and obsessive control over it . Some examples are the need to know what to do, how and when. That is, knowing her plans in detail and knowing who she will be with or will be related to.
Obsessive attention is exclusively reserved for the desired person , losing sight of one’s own life. It is as if everything gravitated around her.
Instead, love is based on acceptance, freedom and respect. Whoever understands this allows their partner to cultivate their own individuality and put wings on their projects. In addition, he assumes that the other person is responsible for himself, so she feels and thinks that she does not have to monitor her actions or try to control them obsessively.
Jealousy
In love, the personal, intimate spaces of each one are respected, so there is no room for irrational jealousy or obsessive possession. In addition, there is the trust that the loved one is in the relationship because she wants to, and is free to end it when she so decides.
On the other hand, the obsessive relationship is based on the need to fill an intrinsic void, for fear of abandonment , helplessness. Any indication that shows that the desired person cultivates his own life and relates to others, gives rise to the obsessive to feel jealousy, fears and insecurities, for this reason he resorts to controlling and demanding her presence always.
Jealousy indicates feelings of insecurity in those who experience them.
Self esteem
Obsession with someone takes place when the person suffers from low self-esteem . Those who are not capable of loving themselves experience a great emptiness, which they seek to fill and satisfy with another person. This is why they feel that without it they are not able to live.
To love genuinely it is essential to love ourselves . Only then will we be able to respect subjectivity and accept the freedom of our partner. Remember that couples are not to fill gaps, but to complement us.
grief after break up
To close with the differences between love and obsession, we will touch on the experience of the breakup. In the case of love, grief usually develops normally, without lengthening or becoming pathological .
Grieving is usually much more difficult when an obsessive relationship ends , because other psychological problems such as low self-esteem, emotional dependence , fear of loneliness, personal insecurities, etc. are at stake. The best thing is to go to a psychologist to help us overcome these conflicts.
Finally, it is quite common for the obsessive person to “fall in love” with another person shortly after the end of the relationship, because they need someone to fill their emotional void.